Feels like HOME!

In the months following my move from Denver I’ve been obsessed with making sure I found “the right” fit.  I have contended for an upgrade and have sarcastically referenced this season in my life as just that … “Operation Upgrade”.  I have prayed for the more … I’ve prayed for bigger and better … I’ve prayed for and have even felt this sense of entitlement around wanting, needing and deserving things I thought were going to make me the happiest I’ve ever been. 

I’ve spent a good amount a time in Southern California … I’ve taken a variety of extended trips … I’ve met up with old friends while finding a way with new ones all in an effort to help solidify the next chapter.

I originally came to Roseville by default (kicking and screaming mostly) and had only anticipated it being a place I used as a temporary stop, while “the bigger and better” worked itself out.  My sister and her husband and the babies live in Roseville so it was the easiest place for me stay while searching for a new home.  However after months of travel and rest and new searches … one thing remained.  Every time I left I did so full of excitement and anticipation knowing that eventually my leaving Roseville would mean I was one step closer to the start of something brand new.  The irony though is the more I left, the more I kept  wishing  I were back.  I wouldn’t get far before immediately feeling like I was missing out on something.  I found myself wanting to go to yoga or see the littles or wish I were at church or meeting up with my sister at the Fountains.  I left more times then I could count until eventually I realized … Why do I keep leaving a place I love.  Why am I running from a place I’m starting to find my way in.  And why am I excited to come “home” every time I go looking for a new “home”.

Home isn’t exactly what I thought it would be.  It didn’t require a moving truck nor was it as glamorous as I had envisioned it being 3 months ago.  Home now is where my heart is.  It’s where I have the the biggest smile!  It’s simple and rewarding.  I thought bigger and better meant  beachfront property in Malibu … I thought an upgrade looked like dating Tim Tebow while traveling around the world singing when in reality my bigger and better actually meant coming back to Roseville every time I left.  My new home was found each time Mila and Matias greeted me with squeals and my Operation Upgrade was this tiny voice that said, Do you want a good thing or do you want a God thing?  In the midst of me actively looking for what’s next … Jesus was arranging the now.   At the risk of sounding super cheesy … I am FULL knowing  I have a relationship with my niece and nephew.  My heart if full knowing I am connected to people I haven’t seen in years.  And watching my “unemployment status” take a turn for the better when I got an offer with a company that literally makes NO SENSE (in the most amazing way possible) is evidence the Lord is at work.  All these things are part of the Upgrade and though much different then I envisioned … right on que for what’s to come.

To that I say … Thank you Jesus for knowing me better then I know myself!
To that I say … Don’t look for something good when what’s great is right in front of you!
To that I say … Continue letting good things take a back seat to God things!

I’m confident lifes re-routes will eventually take us to the place we were created to be.  Past, present and future … PTL!!